


We were; We are

by cian1675



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Adulthood, Bisexual Characters, Bisexuality, F/M, Fitting In, Friendship, Love, M/M, Multi, Slice of Life, Youth, alternative youths, fem!kihyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 13:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16137899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cian1675/pseuds/cian1675
Summary: A lot of things can happen in seven years. And yet, even as adults, Hoseok and Ki have the ability to make Changkyun feel like he’s fifteen again, chasing after them with all the raw feelings he thought he’d forgotten.





	1. Nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> Kihyun is a girl in this AU and will be referred to as Ki for the most part. You'll learn more in the story :)

The first thing on the corner of the street is the sign of the coffee chain, generic and blue. Inside the cafe, officer workers fill the space, buttoned up and prim, ladies in muted tints while men are freshly shaven. Changkyun scans the crowd quickly, frowns when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for. There’s no bright blonde hair; no one with too many earrings, twin helixes sticking out beneath floppy hair. Instead, a particularly broad man in a crisp white shirt catches Changkyun’s eye and he finds his gaze tracing the way the man’s bicep curves under his shirt before he remembers what he’s here for.

Hoseok.

_Right._

Changkyun looks through the crowd again, slower this time. He tries not to linger on the broad man, but then the broad man turns and Changkyun realises that the broad man _is_ Hoseok.

Huh, Changkyun thinks, but what comes out instead is –

“Yo, you look like a respectable member of society now eh.”

Hoseok has black hair, straight and falling a little over his brow, not too long and bleached like it used to be. The face he’s makes is the same though, a scowl with the brows furrowed even as his cheeks rise in vague amusement. Changkyun finds himself in a headlock in an instant, Hoseok’s knuckles rubbing against his scalp more aggressively than he remembers.

“Stop, stop,” Changkyun gets out before he loses hair from Hoseok’s new strength.

“Hello to you too,” Hoseok laughs when he does let Changkyun stand properly again. “And don’t you look respectable yourself, hmm?” Changkyun follows Hoseok’s pointed look to his own hair, black for once, then to his clothes, a plain black tee with jeans that are not ripped. Amused, Changkyun holds his hands up, waves his black painted nails in Hoseok’s face.

“Oh, okay, maybe not,” Hoseok says, moving back a few steps. “Come on, take a seat. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I just came back,” Changkyun says, folding himself into the seat instead of mentioning how long it’s been. Seven years. Too long. “Like, literally, I just landed yesterday, and I’m still jetlagged from flying.”

Hoseok smiles.

“Well, America _is_ quite far from Korea.”

Changkyun almost rolls his eyes before he remembers that even though this is Hoseok, he’s not seen him in ages and he can’t tell if this Hoseok would be offended by the eye-rolling. Changkyun settles for flipping through the menu.

“I just wanted to see some familiar faces now that I’m back, you know.” The hand wave he does reeks of nervousness, but if Hoseok picks up on it, he doesn’t say.

“Have you met Ki yet?”

Changkyun shakes his head.

“Nah, you’re the first I contacted.”

“Oh.”

There’s a long pause, and then –

“ _Wow._ ”

If Hoseok wore pearls, he might be clutching them now. He doesn’t have anything on his neck, however, so the gesture mostly just looks a little lame.

(Alternatively, Changkyun is trying to ignore the fact that he’s starting to feel warm under his neck.)

“I’m honoured,” Hoseok says, before Changkyun manages to say anything embarrassing or dumb, like maybe he should have contacted Ki first if he had known Hoseok would be insufferable. Instead, he just nods and orders a sandwich. They don’t talk for long, mostly because Hoseok’s lunch break is only an hour long and he can’t be late because he has a meeting afterwards.

( _“I know, Lee Hoseok, actually being punctual. My old school teachers would flip.”_ )

Before Hoseok leaves, he tells Changkyun it was nice meeting him again, and then, just like how Changkyun expects it to go, Hoseok asks –

“Do you want to meet Ki? I can call her and we can arrange something.”

If Changkyun wasn’t warm before (he wasn’t), he definitely is now (nope, nope, he isn’t). He nods.

“Yes, that’ll be nice.”

Hoseok just smiles, the same way he used to, ruffling Changkyun’s hair, less painfully and more affectionately this time.

“Okay, I’ll let you know.”

Hoseok leaves waving with his phone in hand – the cover still something from some anime even though it’s not the same one from before – and in that moment, Changkyun feels like he’s fifteen again, almost like he’s never been gone at all.

(Except, of course, he has, and Hoseok’s proper office attire is testament to that even if it does looks good on his now more muscular build.)

 

 

 

 

 

It takes only two days before Changkyun gets a time and place from Hoseok to meet Ki. The message is stuffed between random memes and pictures of cats they’ve exchanged, but it’s there, and when Changkyun turns up at the diner, the first thing he sees before he even steps into the restaurant is a familiar silhouette on the streets, long hair mussed, a trail of smoke between her lips.

So Ki still smokes.

“Hey,” Changkyun says, relieved when Ki smiles. He’s not sure why he’d been expecting otherwise. Maybe it’s the dark hair. She had been so different when he’d left, tresses forever a changing hue of something obnoxious. Then again, she still looks about the same, sans hair colour, which is more than what he can say about Hoseok who had clearly bulked up and cleaned up so well Changkyun would never have guessed his past if he hadn’t been there with him.

“Hey,” Ki says, turning a little so her cigarette smoke doesn’t blow towards Changkyun. “You’re early.”

Changkyun shrugs. He feels tongue tied and fifteen again and here he was hoping the years apart would have changed some things. Maybe not. “Maybe we’re both on time and Hoseok’s just late.”

Ki laughs, giggly and high-pitched.

“Hey, I heard that –”

Hoseok appears then, an arm slung around Changkyun’s shoulder from the back, and Changkyun would have missed Ki’s face if he hadn’t been facing her the whole time.

“Hey, Hoseok,” Ki says, a beat slow. “I like your black hair. You look nice.” She smiles, lopsided, and it’s familiar but there’s something there that Changkyun doesn’t quite understand. He blinks.

“Why… do you say that like you’ve not seen him in a while?”

There’s a puzzled look on Ki’s face.

“Because I haven’t?”

And then, something like comprehension dawns, slacking her features.

“You didn’t tell him?”

There’s a shuffle behind him, the sound of Hoseok scratching his nape.

“No, it didn’t really come up in our conversation.”

“Wait, what didn’t come up in our conversation?” Changkyun quickly asks, partly because he’s getting lost and partly he doesn’t really want to see the two of them fight. It’s not pretty. They always end up crying.

“We broke up some time after you left. Haven’t met each other much recently,” Ki says, takes one last inhale of her cigarette before she crushes it on the bin’s metal tray.

“Oh,” Changkyun says. His mind goes blank for a moment.

“Anyway,” Ki cuts in, almost nonchalant after the initial surprise, “It’s been a while now, and it’s not like I have grudges because I won’t be here now, hmm?” She finishes off with a small smile, her arm hooking around Changkyun’s. There’s a tug, and Changkyun easily follows, pulling Hoseok with him as Ki opens the door to the diner.

Inside, the air is warm, the smell of barbeque stained in the papery walls.

“Just like old times,” Hoseok says softly, but Changkyun’s too caught up in nostalgia to reply.

“Not really,” Ki points out, amused. “We never actually had money for getting barbequed meat, if you recall.” She says this with a shrug, but Changkyun thinks even she look a little wistful as she scans the menu listed on wooden boards around the small diner. Or maybe he’s projecting. In the end, Ki ends up ordering for all of them, plates of meat to barbeque, two large stews to share, rice for everyone and even kimchi pancakes.

“Isn’t this too much food?” Changkyun says when everything arrives, the portions bigger than expected.

“Hoseok eats a lot,” is all Ki says. They dig in afterwards, Ki tending to the grill even though Changkyun, being the youngest at the table, probably should have been the one doing it.

“So,” Ki asks, “What brings you back?”

“My dad got posted back to Korea,” Changkyun says. It’s the same reason why he had ended up going to America to begin with. “And I followed him back.”

“Oh. How long are you here for?” Ki glances at him briefly even though her attention is mostly on flipping the pork belly on the grill so they won’t end up burnt.

Changkyun leans back in his chair, taking in for a moment that they’re at a round table, each of them about the same distance apart. He wonders if they’d been seated at a rectangular table, where each of them would have ended up sitting. In the past, it would definitely have been Hoseok with Ki on one side, Changkyun on the other. Now, he’s not so sure.

“I’m back for good,” Changkyun finally answers. “I’m old enough to stay here even if Dad gets posted somewhere else again, and I think I prefer being here.”

“Are you going to find a job in Seoul?” Hoseok asks. He’s poking at the meat with his chopsticks until Ki glares at him. The chopsticks return to their place next to his rice bowl quickly afterwards. Changkyun finds it amusing.

“I already have a job, actually.”

At this, both Ki and Hoseok look at him. Changkyun suddenly feels nervous. He holds his hands up, laughing.

“I’m, uh, an ASMR youtuber?”

“That’s… really cool,” Hoseok comments, and when Changkyun turns to Ki, her brows lift, then relaxes.

“I can sort of imagine it, what’s with your low voice and all.”

Something like warmth spreads across his chest at that, inching outwards from the centre, the feeling better than when he had finally hit 500k subscribers. Changkyun turns away, cheeks heated.

“T-thanks.”

They don’t tease him about it. They might have, back in the days, but now, Changkyun just finds Hoseok looking at him while Ki gives Hoseok an odd look. And then, in the next moment, Changkyun blinks, and the looks are gone, both of them back at eating.

“Uh,” Changkyun says, instead of commenting on what had just transpired. “Enough about me. What do you guys do now? I know Hoseok’s working in an office somewhere but I don’t actually know where –”

“I’m just an administrative executive, nothing important.” Hoseok interjects, waving a hand. He jabs a thumb in Ki’s direction. “She’s a photographer now though, isn’t that cool?”

It is, and Changkyun finds himself asking Ki more about her job (“who’ll have thought a disposable camera Hoseok picked up when we were in school would lead me here?”), what she’s been doing (“just freelancing, but I get a lot of wedding shoots”) and it’s only when the night is almost over that Changkyun realises he’s learnt a lot about Ki but only a little about Hoseok.

“I’m going to start a group chat so we won’t be strangers,” Changkyun announces when they’re about to part as the diner closes for the night, a sudden bout of bravery and maybe also a reluctance to leave. The two beers he’s had might also help.

“Sure,” Ki hums, eyes twinkling. She punches in her number, and it’s the first time Changkyun has it because the two of them never had handphones in school. Then again, it was not like they needed it when they were pretty much hanging out together all the time.

“Cool.”

“You already have my number,” Hoseok says, patting Changkyun on the head in case he forgot. He hadn’t. He’s had it memorised by heart since he was fourteen and Hoseok had gotten a handphone.

“Here,” Changkyun says when he’s done with setting up the chat group. The first thing he sends is a sticker of Apeach, the peach head character smacking his own butt. It’s random, it’s weird and –

“It’s so typical of you.”

Hoseok says this deadpan but he’s grinning. And then, out of nowhere, there’s a smack on Changkyun’s butt, Changkyun turning around to find that it was Hoseok who’s done it.

“What…” Changkyun blinks, skin tingling even though it was a light hit.

Hoseok just shrugs, pointing to the sticker and grinning like a kid as he darts behind Ki to avoid being hit.

Ki stares at the both of them, a strange look casted towards Hoseok before she sighs, long and exasperated.

“Come on, it’s late. Time to go home.”

Instead of pointing out that they used to loiter on the streets well into the early mornings and watch the sunrise in dingly alleys together, Changkyun nods, then mock salutes.

“Ay, Yoo Kisoon.”

He gets put into a headlock for that, finding out that Ki’s still as strong as he remembers, and that she hates her given name as much as she used to. Hoseok just laughs at him, no help at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a strong urge to write something with kihokyun, and a big reason why this fic features a fem!ki is because I wanted to explore some of the themes tagged for this fic (bisexuality, youth, fitting in, growing up/adulthood). Though, the choice of making Ki female also means I can't have Changkyun or Hoseok talk about how good Kihyun looks as a guy, lol 
> 
> Anyway, I'll love to hear any thoughts you have on the fic so far! Thank you for reading :) You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/cian1675) too.
> 
>  
> 
> P.S.: The apeach sticker mentioned - [here](https://media.tenor.com/images/0f27b915376ebc4856e0c005436bbcbb/tenor.gif)


	2. Tell me how it feels to be normal

Changkyun finds out that Hoseok’s searched up and watched his ASMR videos when he get a comment from a username that is obviously the name of some anime character. Hoseok’s profile pic is a 2D girl with big boobs, probably the same character in his username. At least, that’s what Changkyun assumes. He clicks on the comment.

_Holy shit you sound so good. I can see why you get so many subs…  
Side note though, why did you not wear your earrings when you met us? :( They look so cute on you_

He could technically just message Hoseok in their private chat, but Changkyun shoots a reply back on youtube.

_You like my earrings ayyyy_

The almost immediate ping of a reply surprises Changkyun.

_Yes_  
_I can’t wear mine at work :(  
_ _At least let me live vicariously through you_

He’s not sure why he can hear Hoseok’s pout through the text, but he does. Changkyun scratches his head for a moment, decides his shower can wait, then sits down and picks up his phone. The call goes through almost immediately.

“Hello,” Hoseok says first, almost bashfully.

“Hello,” Changkyun echoes, before he remembers what he called for. He tugs at his earring, the long dangling chain brushing his shoulder. He looks like a Kpop idol wannabe, but then again, he likes it, so who cares. “You know there’s no one stopping you from wearing earrings outside of work even if you can’t wear them at work.”

There’s an exhale, then –

“Yeah, I know.”

Changkyun waits patiently. And Hoseok continues.

“I just… I’m not sure. I mean, I can wear earrings on weekends and all but it’s not the same?” Another pause, and then, Hoseok huffs. “Ah, it’s silly, I guess.”

No it’s not, Changkyun thinks, but he decides to be gentler.

“Doesn’t matter if it’s silly, it can still bother you.”

Hoseok lets out a soft sound. Changkyun pictures him making a face over the phone.

“When did you become so mature, Changkyun-ah?”

It sounds like a diversion, so Changkyun just says, “Why does not being able to wear earrings bother you?”

“It…” There’s shuffling over the line. Changkyun wonders if Hoseok’s lying on his bed, getting comfortable. “I guess I just feel stifled, like I can’t do what I want, even if it’s something as pointless as wearing too many earrings. The men’s dress code at work is just so… boring.”

“Let me guess, no unnatural hair colour,” Changkyun offers. Ki always had obnoxiously bright hair – orange, pink, purple – but Hoseok was the one who had tried the wildest combinations – a very yellow blond, hot flaming red, and the weirdest one had to be pale grey with blue tips, like who even thinks of that? Still, it was clearly something he used to enjoy.

“Yeah. I can still dye it brown I suppose, but it feels rather pointless when I still have to put in time and effort to maintain the colour.”

Changkyun plops down on his bed, rolls onto his side. He thinks for a while how to best say what he thinks without assuming he knows how Hoseok feels.

“It’s not really about the earrings, is it?”

For a while, all Changkyun hears is Hoseok’s quiet breathing, barely there. After some time, Hoseok hums.

“Yeah, I guess not.”

Hoseok doesn’t elaborate. Changkyun doesn’t push. Instead, he tells Hoseok that he’s going to shower. They hang up shortly after, after Hoseok manages to make Changkyun tell him about his day while he glosses over his own.

 

 

 

 

 

Changkyun meets Ki by chance the next day.

“Oh, hey – Changkyun,” Ki exclaims when she comes up behind him at the mart.

“Hey.”

Changkyun resists the urge to shuffle, looking at Ki on the sharp tip of her nose rather than her eyes. She doesn’t have her usual winged eyeliner on, dressed in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants that’s seen better days. Still, there’s something like awe at seeing her that Changkyun can’t quite control, and he tries not to be the dumbstruck kid with a fat crush that he had been (still is).

“Are you cooking?” Ki asks, peering at Changkyun’s cart with what can only be called skepticism mixed with an equal dose of amusement. He’s not sure if he should be offended.

“Yeah. I learnt how to cook in the States. Couldn’t get used to the food there so I had to make my own.”

When he looks over, there are also fresh ingredients in Ki’s cart. Changkyun’s not surprised. Ki used to cook for them, once in a while, when they actually had ingredients beyond what they could steal from the convenience store.

“No fish?” Changkyun asks conversationally as he pokes around Ki’s selection. He remembers she had disliked food with strong smells.

“Ew, no. They smell bad.”

When they reach the cashier, Ki makes Changkyun go first, which Changkyun does but not without rolling his eyes.

“Is it because I’m younger than you?” he mumbles as he unloads his items, lets the cashier check them out.

Ki makes an impressive scowl.

“I just don’t like going first.”

The cashier, a plump lady with permed curls, looks up at them talking. She seems to recognise Ki, because she nods towards her.

“Oh it’s you! Hi, Miss!”

Ki half-bows, polite as always, but she doesn’t meet the cashier’s eyes. Changkyun doesn’t understand why until the cashier lady follows up with –

“Is this your boyfriend? He seems like a nice young man.”

Oh.

Changkyun looks at Ki, who’s looking anywhere but at the cashier. When it seems like Ki isn’t going to answer, Changkyun decides to politely say –

“No, I’m just a friend.”

The cashier still turns towards Ki for confirmation. Ki shrugs, decidingly not looking at the cashier. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

The cashier seems to realise she’s not getting more after that, quietly attending to Ki’s cart once she’s done with Changkyun. It’s later, after they exit the mart that Ki speaks again.

“Sorry about that. I should have warned you about that cashier. She’s kind of nosy.”

Changkyun peers at her. She looks better, but still… bothered.

“Well, it’s alright. I’m okay. Are you though?”

Instead of answering, Ki asks Changkyun if he’s going to the same bus stop. He is, so they walk together. And after a while Ki comes back to the question without Changkyun asking again.

“I’m just annoyed,” Ki says, soft under the rumble of cars and buses driving past. “I used to shop here weekly with my ex-girlfriend and that nosy cashier never batted an eyelash even when we were touchy. But the moment I come here with a guy, even if we’re standing a metre apart, she would be all, ‘oh, is this your boyfriend?’” Ki sighs, runs a hand through her hair. “I just… _Ugh_ , I… I hate this. I hate bi-erasure. Gosh, that’s such a gross oversimplification, but that’s the best word I can think of right now. It’s just so frustrating.”

Changkyun hums to show he’s listening but really, his mind is doing somersaults to catch up to what Ki had just said. _Ex-girlfriend. Bi-erasure._ Which means she’s bi too.

(Why does that just make her more attractive? Or is it just because he already has a huge crush on her since forever?)

“That does suck,” Changkyun says in the end, because he can’t quite say he relates when he’s never dated before, girl or guy. “But technically she’s just a passerby in your life. Her opinion doesn’t matter.”

Ki huffs, cheeks puffing up before she blows strands of stray hair off her face.

“Yeah, trust me, I know that too. But it still bothers me.”

Ki turns towards him. Without thinking, Changkyun reaches out, puts a hand over her shoulder. She doesn’t shrug him off, so Changkyun pulls her a little closer, rubbing her arm. They stay like that, close but not quite, until Ki’s bus comes.

“See you around,” Ki says when she goes instead of ‘bye’. Changkyun feels his heart soar for no reason.

“See you too,” Changkyun echoes, too soft to be heard over the bus leaving.

 

 

 

 

 

“Dude, you have it bad.”

Jooheon is a blurry pixelated image on his laptop, voice crackly over the finicky Skype connection but his tone is the same as when he used to chide Changkyun in person in their shared university dorm. Changkyun scrubs a hand over his face.

“I know.” And then, quieter, “I know.”

Jooheon lets out a sigh, and this is normally when he would pat Changkyun on the back if he was in the same room. Instead, they have the sea and too many kilometres between them so all Changkyun gets is a knowing, if slightly pitying look.

“You behave like a kid with a fat crush around Ki,” Jooheon starts, and Changkyun bites his tongue to resist yelling that he _is_ a kid with a fat crush on Ki. So what if he’s twenty-two and an adult? Being around Ki makes him feel like he’s that try-hard teen at fifteen, pretending he doesn’t care while his reedy growing body struggled to contain all the emotions he had around her. Sometimes, even now, he feels like a sidekick to Ki and Hoseok even though they’ve never tried to make him feel that way. Changkyun’s so busy feeling dumb (or really, just sorry for himself) that he doesn’t realise Jooheon’s still talking until he stops. “Kyunnie, are you even listening?”

“What?”

“That’s a no, then,” Jooheon comments, not even batting an eyelash. He doesn’t seem offended, just sits up closer to the screen. “Anyway, as I was saying, it’s not the Ki bit I was talking about. Everyone and their mothers know you like her.” Changkyun feels his cheeks heat, because, yeah, he’s probably too obvious. He wishes he knows how to rein it in, but he still doesn’t, even after years of trying. Used to this, Jooheon simply hums, pressing on with his point. “I was talking about Hoseok.”

“What?” Changkyun blinks, because, oh yeah, he probably did mention Hoseok when Jooheon asked him how his week has been. “What about him?”

Jooheon’s eyes widen, like he thinks it’s plain as day, but he does help Changkyun a little, bless him.

“You like him too.”

“Of course I do,” Changkyun agrees without missing a beat, because… well, actually now that he’s thinking about it, there’s no real reason. He kind of just does.

Jooheon keeps silent, but it seems a bit too pointed, too _knowing._ Still, Changkyun decides to try.

“Hoseok’s like a brother to me.”

“Uh-huh,” Jooheon nods, not bothering to fight, but his tone says it all. Smart-ass. “Anyway, you know you like him too, even if you don’t want to admit it aloud. Why else would you be so concerned about him, or how he’s changed and the fact he doesn’t want to talk about himself or his job much.”

“No…” Changkyun groans, about to say he’s just being a good friend, but then he catches Jooheon’s eyes, patient and all-knowing the way only someone he’s roomed with for the last three years could be, and he stops. He knows what Jooheon is thinking. And Changkyun hears it in his head too. If Hoseok was a girl, he would probably already call this a crush.

 _This sounds like internal biphobia_ , another voice chimes in, sounding suspiciously like the too-cool RA on his floor back in university. Changkyun sighs.

“Fine, yes, I do.” I like Hoseok too, Changkyun thinks, not quite ready to say it aloud yet. Already, he feels his mouth twisting into a sulk, and he lets himself sink into it, pouting for good measure. “Why can’t I just like one of them instead of both? This is so frustrating.”

Jooheon smiles, a bit too sweetly for Changkyun’s liking at this time.

“Maybe you just have too much love for one person.” Jooheon shrugs.

Changkyun groans, and he lets his head fall on the table, ignoring Jooheon’s muffled chuckles across the low quality video call.

“Well, I definitely don’t love you,” Changkyun mumbles, but all Jooheon does is laugh louder, not bothering to hide it this time.

“Sure, keep lying to yourself.”

Changkyun just groans again, knocking his forehead against the wood of his desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the encouragement in the first chapter :) I'm glad to see people are interested in the premise and what happens. I hope you've enjoyed the update~
> 
> As usual, I'll love to hear what you think! You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/cian1675) too.


	3. Maybe you should ask her out

It’s raining.

Against his window, droplets splash, fat and heavy, leaving streaks on the dusty glass. Changkyun lies on his bed. He wants to just stay in, curl under his duvet where it’s nice and warm. But he’s meeting Hoseok at the gym and he should have left five minutes ago. He rolls over, rests his chin on his arm. Hoseok had been excited when he had asked to join him at the gym.

_“Ah, I didn’t know you gym now, Kkukungie! You’ve really grown up eh? We can work out together at my gym, it’ll be fun!”_

Hoseok had been genuinely thrilled at the idea and somehow, Changkyun can’t quite find it in himself to cancel. He blows out a puff of air through his mouth, watches it ruffle his fringe. Maybe Jooheon was right. Maybe he cares more about Hoseok that he’d realised if he’s willing to exercise just to spend more time with him.

(Going to gym with Hoseok to spend more time with him had been a drunken idea from 3 a.m. Changkyun. It had sounded like a good move, a great move even, until sober Changkyun wakes up at noon to find that Hoseok’s already asked to meet at his local gym and Changkyun’s never stepped foot into _any_ gym ever and would probably expose his couch potato ass the second he has to use any of the equipment. In panic, sober Changkyun had ended up spending most of the day googling and watching youtube tutorials on how to use gym equipment and now he kind of just wants to sleep.)

Lingering in the warmth of his bed for a little longer, Changkyun squeezes his eyes shut, then sighs. It was a lost battle from the start. He had studied about gym equipment. _Studied._ Before he even ate lunch. There was no way he would intentionally disappoint Hoseok because of a little rain after that. With a last roll in bed, Changkyun gets up, moves to haul his ass to the gym.

 

 

 

 

 

Hoseok’s soaked when he comes.

“Sorry I’m late,” he starts to say once he spots Changkyun, only to sneeze. Before Changkyun can say anything about it, Hoseok’s already nudged him, leading them past the reception counter towards the changing room. Changkyun raises a brow, but it goes unnoticed. In the end, he ends up just following, Hoseok’s broad back taking up most of his vision as they walk down the corridor. This close, it’s obvious that Hoseok’s pale blue button-up has turned translucent where the rain had seeped through and Changkyun doesn’t realise he’s blatantly staring until Hoseok turns to look back at him.

“Aren’t you cold?” Changkyun blurts out with thinking.

Hoseok’s mouth is parted like he’d meant to speak until Changkyun interrupted. It takes him a few blinks to answer. “I’ll be fine once I change to my exercise clothes.”

He pushes the door to the changing room, holding it open to let Changkyun in.

“Anyway, I, ah, wanted to ask you if you’ve eaten? I prefer exercising on an empty stomach, but it’s going to be quite late after we finish even though I came here straight after work.”

Changkyun finds the nearest unoccupied locker, sets his bag down.

“I’m okay. I had a late lunch, and we can have supper together afterwards instead, I guess?”

Hoseok grins.

“Sounds good.”

Changkyun hums in response, already shrugging off his flannel shirt. He’s pulling on a t-shirt when he feels fingertips trace his shoulder.

“You have a _tattoo?_ ”

There’s something like surprise in Hoseok’s voice, or maybe it’s amazement, and Hoseok’s too close behind when Changkyun tilts his head to look at him. Hoseok’s lips are pursed as he reads the inked phrase. The English words roll off his tongue in pieces, interspersed with silence as he traces the words on Changkyun’s shoulder.

“One who… wear the crown, bear the crown.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, apropos of nothing. Hoseok’s looking at him now, instead of his tattoo, but his hand is still on Changkyun’s back, flat and warm. And then, in the next moment, Hoseok blinks, and the hand slips away.

“Let’s quickly get changed so we can start working out, mm?”

Hoseok turns until his back is to Changkyun, but it’s not like Changkyun really understands what’s going on – what had just happened – even if he could see Hoseok’s face. Changkyun tugs the hem of his t-shirt over his stomach, kicking off his shoes so he can change his pants.

“Okay,” Changkyun finally says, even though working out is the furthest thing on his mind right now.

 

 

 

 

 

They work out. Or more specifically, Changkyun uses the treadmill while Hoseok cycles through stretching, various sets of weights, and a whole bunch of equipment Changkyun only vaguely remembers the use of. The treadmills are lined in a row facing glass windows that spans floor to ceiling. It’s meant to offer a view of the streets below but it’s dark outside now and all Changkyun sees in the glass as he runs is the reflection of Hoseok’s milky skin, arms on display in his tank top, muscles rippling as he moves, sweat-drenched. His perspiration has soaked through his tank top and Changkyun’s not sure if he’s glad or not that it’s grey so it doesn’t go translucent.

(What he means is, it’s torture, and Changkyun isn’t referring to his endless running, although that is torturous too.)

His legs are shaky. Changkyun lowers the speed on his treadmill a little, wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

“So, do you usually just run in the gym?”

Hoseok’s finished a set of deadlifts – aha, youtube education coming in handy – and his voice is a little breathy but it’s probably not as bad as Changkyun’s.

“Uh.”

Changkyun exhales slowly, tries to catch his breath. _I don’t run at all_ , he thinks, except when he has to catch the bus. He doesn’t say that, thankfully. Unfortunately, it seems that all the studying and running has caught up to him because, when he opens his mouth after he’s sure he won’t sound like a wheezy mess, what comes out is –

“Yeah, but it’s mostly because I don’t really know how to use the other equipment –”

Which really isn’t that much better either.

Luckily, Hoseok just finds it funny.

“You could have told me!”

His eyes are crinkled as he laughs. The corners of his lips are curled up.  

“I can teach you if there’s anything you want to learn in particular,” Hoseok offers, but Changkyun shakes his head immediately.

“Oh.”

Hoseok sounds disappointed.

“It’s alright, I’ll –”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to teach me,” Changkyun interrupts, before Hoseok misunderstands.

Hoseok’s crestfallen expression eases, replaced by something more open. He’s waiting, looking at Changkyun with earnest eyes.

Changkyun rubs the back of his nape and sighs, “I just… don’t know where to start?”

“Ah.”

Hoseok sounds relieved.

“That’s not a problem. If you want me to teach you, I can start from the basics and we can figure out where to go from there, Changkyunnie.”

From anyone else, it might sound assuming or even condescending, but Hoseok’s always been sincere, and the sentiment shines through even now. Changkyun nods hesitantly.

“If it’s not too much trouble…”

“It won't be since it’s for you,” Hoseok says with a smile, and something curls in the pit of Changkyun’s belly. He wants to write it off as running on the treadmill for too long on an empty stomach but he knows it’s not. So instead, Changkyun ducks his head, feels his ears heat up.

 

 

 

 

 

Supper is ramyeon at a shop two streets away from the gym.

“Please tell me you don’t eat here every time after you go to the gym,” Changkyun whispers under his breath as a friendly middle-aged lady ushers them in with a bright grin, a hand on Hoseok’s back like he’s her son or a regular.

(Changkyun’s guess is on regular, because he’s seen Hoseok’s mum, and she doesn’t look like this, unless she went through plastic surgery in the years between then and now and okay, his brain is spewing nonsense right now and he should stop.)

Hoseok frowns at him even as his lower lip sticks out plump from his pout.

“Of course I don’t. It’s a treat!”

He sounds like he’s five instead of twenty-five, and Changkyun shouldn’t find it adorable, but he does.

(It seems, once Jooheon’s pointed out Changkyun’s crush on Hoseok, that all Changkyun finds is more evidence that he does, indeed, have a big fat crush on Hoseok, in addition to the one he already has on Ki.)

“Okay, okay. What are you going to get then?” Changkyun asks as he glances through the menu. It’s short, which means they probably serve good ramyeon because they don’t need to sell anything else. He shouldn’t be surprised; Hoseok has always liked ramyeon and it makes sense that he would know a good place serving his favourite food.

“The house special with everything,” Hoseok replies with a grin without even looking at the menu. “You?”

“Same,” Changkyun answers, just because he’s lazy to choose, and he lets Hoseok order for both of them.

Later, after Changkyun finds out that the house special is too much food for him – but not for Hoseok, who’s still mixing plain rice to eat with his leftover soup – he decides to bring up something he’s been wondering about.

“So, Ki mentioned the two of you broke up a few years ago…”

Hoseok pauses mid-bite. Changkyun waits for him to chew and swallow.

“Uh, yeah. We did.”

“Why did– How did that happen?”

His words are not exactly coming out the way he wants them to, but Changkyun doesn’t know how to go about asking.

(Doesn’t really know what he wants to hear, or what he’s hoping to get out of this either.)

Hoseok takes another spoonful of rice with soup before he says, much too slowly, “We… drifted away when I went to the army.”

Changkyun waits, but Hoseok doesn’t add anything else. Figuring he shouldn’t press – not today, at least – Changkyun finishes his cola and is about to move on to a different topic when Hoseok suddenly says –

“You know. Ki is single at the moment.”

Changkyun must have raised his eyebrow without thinking because Hoseok quickly continues.

“Like, I mean… I know you _like_ her.”

The way Hoseok says ‘like’ is imbued with meaning, and all Changkyun can do is to blink dumbly. Somehow, even though he knows he had been super obvious about his crush on Ki, he never quite expected Hoseok to know.

(Logically, and in hindsight, Changkyun knows that Hoseok must have noticed at some point because they used to hang out together all the time. But Changkyun, especially Changkyun with a crush, or in this case two, has never claimed to be the most logical of human beings.)

“Hyung… what are you saying?”

Hoseok shrugs, looking at anywhere but Changkyun.

“I’m just saying, maybe you should ask her out.”

The last bit is said so quietly that Changkyun almost misses it.

“What?”

“You should ask her out,” Hoseok says, a bit louder this time but still softer than the background din from the diner. He’s still looking at anywhere but Changkyun, and Changkyun isn’t sure what to say in reply. Nothing, not even youtube with all its weirdness, could prepare him for having two crushes, and then having one crush tell him to ask his other crush out. It really doesn’t help that he can’t tell what Hoseok is thinking either, so open and earnest one second, but so shuttered the next.

“I’m going to get the bill,” is what Changkyun ends up saying. He manages to pay before Hoseok can. When they’re both outside the shop, Hoseok doesn’t go into one of his _‘you should let me pay because I’m the hyung’_ argument. Instead, his face is unreadable.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

Changkyun tentatively reaches out. Hoseok looks up when Changkyun pats his shoulder.

“Yeah.”

Hoseok manages a smile, but Changkyun can see it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay. We should go. Or at least, I should. I have work tomorrow.”

The evening had started off on a pretty good note but the mood has definitely dropped after Changkyun’s question and Hoseok’s advice (if it can be called that). Changkyun doesn’t want to push, wants to let things play out at their own pace, but at the same time, he doesn’t want today to be a total downer. So he puts on a smile himself, trying not to sound as confused as he feels.

“Okay. Have a good rest then, Seokkie-hyung. Maybe next time when we gym, you can teach me to use something besides the treadmill?”

The last bit gets a small laugh from Hoseok.

“Sure. I can teach you if we gym again.”

“When,” Changkyun corrects. He isn’t really fond of the gym, but Hoseok is, and he’ll take sore limbs if it gives him an excuse to hang out with Hoseok more.

“When we gym next time,” Hoseok echoes. He’s moving back, hand coming up to give a little wave. Changkyun takes that as his cue to leave.

“See you again, hyung. I’ll text you.”

“Mm. Goodnight.”

“Nights, Hoseok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the update! Hoseok is a bit difficult in this story lmao. Let me know what you think ~


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